In the world of Hollywood, there are decisions that are made by people who look to cast certain actors and actresses for big budget movies. Sometimes the person who is chosen as a leading man could be someone who has starred in a previous movie while another person may be starring in the role for the very first time. The leading actor could be cast for a movie that is action-packed, drama or a comedy. They also could be cast in movies which are inspirational or even based upon a true story of someone life. Some of my favorite movies like these are Gridiron Gang, Remembering the Titans and Men of Honor which were played by some of my favorite leading actors.
When it comes to a man’s family, it is not someone in Hollywood like a casting director or an executive producer who has determined the roles in a family. However, the one that has established the family and man’s vital role is not the directors of Hollywood but it is the Lord Himself. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, the word of God says that “the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God”. The role of a wife and mother in the family would be considered as the leading lady in the home. The role of a husband and father in the family would be considered as the leading man in the home. The script that both of them would live by would not be a fictitious script that was written by a person but it would be the word of God. The word of God shows a man and a woman who are married how their marriage should be a reflection of Christ and His bride is the church. They also both seek the Lord together to train up their children in the way that the Lord would have them to go and when they are much older they will not depart from it (Ephesians 5:23-33).
However, sadly most men are missing in the home and some have even abandoned their families because they felt they did not have what it took to keep their family together. Our prisons are filled with our fathers and husbands who the enemy has caused to run off the roadway of life into potholes of crime. Our women today have to carry on being single parents trying to raise their sons and daughters without the presence of a man in the home. In this hour the Lord is calling for men to rise up to not seek positions of leadership in the church but to take their rightful place as the priest in their homes. A leading man first call of ministry is not having a title in the church but his first call to ministry is his wife and children. His leadership should be evident in how he serves them, how he takes care of them even down to his last dollar in his pocket. As men of God which should press toward the mark of the high calling of God to be a leading man, in our homes, as a faithful husband and a devoted father.
Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you. But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:2-3).
Leading in Your Home
One of the ways that a leading man demonstrates leadership in his home is evident because his presence is felt when he is there and when he is not there. He may work a regular nine to five job or have a career that he is at throughout his working day. However, when he returns back to his family, he is actively involved in each area of his of their lives. A leading man is involved in a partnership with his wife when comes to their finances so that they can work toward accomplishing their financial goals together. He is involved in his child’s academic progress in school by going over his or her homework with them and helping them to prepare for test and exams. A leading man is also involved in his child school by going to parent-teacher conference meetings and school performances that his son or daughter is a part of.
A leading man is a provider to his family, the first line of defense and a voice of truth that he speaks in his home. He does not allow disorder and chaos to dwell in the home but only promote peace, unity, and joy among his loved ones. He is grateful to the Lord for allowing him to hear those times when his wife and children are all together laughing and enjoying one another. He knows he is blessed by the Lord because his wife tells him that the place they live in is not just a house but a place that they can call home together. His love for his family is not measured by the amount of wealth that he has accumulated, but it is measured based upon how much he is willing to sacrifice for them. In John 15:13, the word of God says that “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”.
Leading as a Husband
One important truth that can help a man to be a great leading husband in his marriage is letting his wife know that he is grateful for her being in his life. The word of God tells us in Proverbs 18:22 “that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and has obtained favor from the Lord”. A leading husband keeps the line of communication open between him and his wife so that he does give place to the enemy to cause misunderstanding between the both of them. He is willing to be transparent with her about his weaknesses in his life and how her being by his side makes them stronger as one. He willing to take off his Superman cape listen to his wife when she wants to pour out her concerns, She is not looking for him to try and fix everything that is a problem in her life but to be the emotional support that she needs.
When their disagreement between the two of them a leading husband will not run and retreat and allow them to stay mad at one another. However, he will first ask the Lord to show him how he can found common ground with his wife and not allow their disagreement to further escalate out of control. A leading husband is not threatened by the fact that if his wife makes more money than him on their jobs but understands that his wife loves him not for how much money he makes but for who he is a person. He is willing to support his wife when she tells him that she wants to go back to college to get her bachelor or master degree and takes on the additional responsibilities to help her finish school. He is there for her when she is diagnosed with cancer and assure her that they will beat cancer together. He is there at her side through the good days and the bad days when she goes to the doctor to take the cancer treatment that takes a stressful toll on her. However, through it all, she knows she has a leading husband that loves her, who will fight with her and help her cross the finish line in beating cancer in her life.
Leading as a Father
When my daughter was first-born bringing her home from the hospital was a life-changing experience. I remember being this new father and I would cry out to the Lord to help me to be the father he had ordained me to be. As I prayed to the Lord, I would listen to a song called Father Me by Shekinah Glory. My heart’s desire was that I wanted to be there for my daughter the way I had always wanted my father to be there for me. I wanted to be a father who would be involved in her school life and helping her with homework. I wanted to be there when she brought her report card home and to celebrate with her the good grades she brought home and her making honor roll.
Today I am in my late forties and I have watched the Lord answer my prayers that I prayed for my daughter when she was first-born. When my daughter brings her report card home her school grades are no less than a ninety-five and she makes the high honor roll each report card marking. She is beautiful, smart and has a personality that draws the type of friends in her life that they see she adds value to their life. I have learned that being a leading father in your home means you will not provoke your child to wrath but help raise them in the admonition and the nurturing of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). As fathers, we have to pray over our children that a spirit of excellence operates in them academically, emotionally and spiritually. We must be willing to take the time and to go and meet with our child’s principal not because they were sent to the principal office but meeting with her principal and their teachers because you are fully vested in our child succeed in school.
You may be a single father who has never been married and you have to visit your children based upon the availability that is given to you by their mother. If that is you my brother continue to be a leading man and father to your son by being there for him when you can and never allow a court to dictate to you when you can see him. Make up in your mind though things may have not worked out between you and his mother, you will still be there for your son making sure that he has everything that he needs as a growing young man. You may also be a father and a former husband who was once married to your children’s mother but because your marriage ended in divorce you also have to see them on the weekends and designated times throughout the year. As a leading father don’t allow the divorce from your former wife keep you from doing your part in being the dad that your daughters need from you. You may say Elder Strong but my daughters are in a different state than I am and I can only get to see them during the summer months. My brother a leading father will make the best of his situation and allow the Lord to turn his lemons into enjoyable lemonade for him and his daughters to enjoy together.