As men we live in a fast pace, petal to the metal, I want it now society. Most people we come in contact with are not willing to wait but want to be next even if it means they have to cut the line in front of someone else. At work we as men we are asked to get results on the job even if it means working extra hours and neglecting our family life. We work and make money but we are not happy because the money that we made still does not seem like it is not enough. We are frustrated because the job that we do is really the work of three people which can leave us stressed and overwhelmed. When things bother us as men we will keep it bottled up and not share it with someone who could offer us some support with what we are frustrated about in our life.
If we are having health concerns as men we will not go to the doctor because we are trying to maintain image before others that we have everything under control. As men, we will ignore all of the warning signs about how we are feeling and when it becomes too late we are forced to go to the emergency room. The health coverage that we have through our jobs only require us to pay a minimal co-pay of twenty-five to thirty dollars. However, because we can be stubborn we will not get ourselves checked out but instead, pay a higher co-pay of one hundred and fifty dollars being admitted to the hospital. You asked Elder Strong what is the root cause of this behavior in men today which are on the verge of exploding? The first reason why men are silently frustrated is that we are serving the Lord with the wrong attitude. The second reason why husbands, fathers and our sons are silently frustrated is that they refuse to take godly correction from the LORD. A final reason why men are frustrated in their marriages, with their children, and on their jobs is that they refuse to heed the warning signs that come from the heart of the Lord.
So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him (Genesis 4:6-7).
Serving the LORD with the wrong attitude.
The word of God tells us in Genesis 4:1-5 that Cain and Abel both had different occupations. Each of their occupations provided them the resources to present an offering according to the way that would please the LORD. The offering which Abel presented before the LORD was from the firstlings of his flock because he was a keeper of the flock. On the other hand, Cain presented an offering to the LORD that was from the fruit of the ground because he was a tiller of the ground. Some Bible scholars believed that the reason why God accepted Abel’s offering that his was a blood sacrifice but Cain was rejected because he offered something from the ground that was cursed. However, I believe the true reason why Cain offering was not accepted by the LORD was that he offered in having the wrong attitude.
When Abel presented his offering to the LORD with the firstlings of his flock, he gave the LORD what was first and his best. However, Cain offering was given with an attitude that I will give to the LORD in the time I am ready to give through the process of time. The offering that he gave the LORD may have not been in the best condition or even was the leftover of what he had to give the LORD. As a result of his method of how Cain gave, his offering was not received by the LORD. The LORD was not rejecting Cain as a person but He did want him to check his anger, his attitude and not allow sin to destroy him as a man. The LORD wanted Cain to master the sin that was crouching at the door of his heart so that it would destroy his relationship with his brother.
As men we must be willing to learn from the life of Cain and not allow silent frustration to cause us to serve the LORD with the wrong or destructive attitude. When we become a part of a local church and we serve in the house we should press to serve the LORD with gladness (Psalms 100:2). Our offering of service, gifts, and talents that we present before him should be given with the attitude of giving him what is first and not what is leftover. What we give to our wives and our children should be with an attitude that we want to help them to become all that the LORD would want them to be. We should not spend all that we have giving and pleasing the world with what we have but only to always give our family which is our first ministry the leftovers. In the House of the LORD rather if we are serving as an usher, deacon or a position of leadership, our service should be giving our best unto to the LORD in serving His people. We should never seek to do these things with a spirit of competition to be seen by others but we serve in the church as unto the LORD.
By faith Abel offered to God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his gifts; and through it he being dead still speaks (Hebrews 11:4).
The correction of the LORD.
A second reason I believe Cain became silently frustrated in his life was because he was not willing to receive the correction from the LORD. In Genesis 4:6 the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it”. The LORD was merciful to Cain that He immediately asked Cain a series of questions that would try to help bring correction in Cain life. It was not that the LORD did not know the answers to these questions that He was asked Cain, but I believe because the LORD is omniscience He knows all things. The LORD wanted to give Cain the opportunity to see the revelation from the questions that he would need to change and would need correction in his life.
As men part of the reason why we suffer silently in our lives, on the job, and our marriages is because we refuse to accept correction when it given to us. The mindset of the world that we are the man and we are always right does not fit in the life of a man of God. The Apostle Paul told us in Romans 12:2, “that we must not be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind”. When the LORD starts to asked us of those same questions on why we are angry and silently frustrated, it is opportunity for us to repent and to cry out to Father that we need to change as men. The purpose of the conviction of the Spirit of God in our hearts is to draw us closer and back in right relationship with the LORD. However, condemnation which comes from the enemy is designed to push away from the heart of the LORD and cause us to be deceived in believing that we do not need to be corrected but it is everyone else around us. If we choose to remain silently frustrated we will stop praying, stop reading the word of God and stop fellowshipping with our brothers. Our communication with our families will be replaced with non-verbal responses causing them not knowing what we might say or what we might do.
Heeding the warning of the LORD.
A final reason why Cain was silently frustrated in his life was because he had failed to heed the warning of the LORD about his life. The refusal of Cain to say that he needed help from the LORD cause his frustration to turn into anger and finally murder against his brother. In Genesis 4:8-9 the word of God tells us that right after the conversation that the LORD had with Cain that he rose up against his brother Abel out in the field and killed him. As men of God it important that we heed the warning of God that He is speaking to us in behind the closed doors of our life. We should not ignore His warning signs that He is speaking to us because we feel the LORD is denying us the personal pleasures of the world. In this hour God is warning men to see that the devil is after the lives and seeks to steal, kill and destroy them. The Father has written in His world that we have to flee from sin and resist the devil and he will flee from us.
To be freed from the internal grips of silently frustration means that we as men must be willing to do four important things in our relationship with the LORD. The first thing we must do is that we must bare our souls to the LORD for He is our refuge (Psalms 62:8). The next thing we must do is not allow frustration to cause erosion in our soul but to yield to the Holy Spirit to pray through us in those times of being really frustrated (Romans 8:26-27). A final thing as men we must be willing to do when we a find ourselves silently frustrated is learn how to become accountable to another brother in Christ (Proverbs 27:17). In the book of James, the writer tells us that “the wrath of man will never help of you and me to walk in God’s righteousness” (James 1:20). However, it we allow a mature brother in the LORD to hold us accountable, over time it will help us to serve the LORD with the right and godly attitude. It will also help us as men to receive the correction from the LORD and obey the warning of the LORD when it is spoken to us.